elongatedsmile: (Flow like water)
Xzana ([personal profile] elongatedsmile) wrote2013-08-14 05:42 pm

[Action/Voice]

[Xzana had not liked the sudden return of memories that assaulted her. Nor the loss of memories she had thought to be true. She felt as if it was tearing her mind apart. She wasn't human, she was- was what? An animal? Her constructed memories told her that wasn't a good thing. She was a person. Her true memories told her that was fine. Not exactly an animal, but not a human and better for it. The days after the invasion were hard for her.

She tried to sleep in a bed, but didn't feel safe. That wasn't her home. Tried to sleep at the bottom of the lake. She knew that's where she belonged, but she would awaken thinking she was drowning as a human would. Even though she was not drowning at all she wouldn't be able to sleep again until she surfaced.

Her clothes, once she would have simply worn what was given to her everyday. Only understanding that humans liked it better if she had something on. Now she felt as though she should change it every day. What a hassle. Yet, it was fun trying on different outfits - NO IT WASN'T! Was it? Just a little maybe...

Food. How was she suppose to eat? The thrill of the hunt came back as she started to catch her own fish again, but as she sank her teeth in to eat a warning shouted in her head. Eating raw meat would make her sick. No it wouldn't, for all her life it had never once made her sick. Yet, she found she couldn't eat it.]


[Confused, hungry, and tired Xzana wanders around Luceti for several days after the attack. A dazed and confused look typically on her face as she tries to figure out just who she is and what she should do now. Dressed in a mismatch of a green skit, an orange sweater, and lacking any footwear she wanders about just about everywhere. Making sure to at least stop into Seventh Heaven where she's hoping someone has gone back to work. She was so hungry, but had forgotten how to work a stove.

The clothing shop where she will attempt to dress herself in more fashion disasters. She's at least changing her clothes now, fashion can be a step later on. For now she'll be happy to look like an 80s reject.

Standing inside the fountain each day as she tries to figure out where she belongs. Her old life says the forest, her new life says she belongs in town with people inside buildings. Yet, neither feel right anymore.

The other thing she has trouble dealing with is missing people. She's never really missed people before, not like this. Kitten had been so young, was she okay? Was she having as hard of a time as she was? Had she even been real? Had anyone she talked with been real? She can't not know any longer and opens up her waterlogged journal.]


Kitten, are you there? Derek- [A pause. How should she word this?] Are you real? I am Xzana. I look different now. I am not a human. I am an ani- I am a creature you would call a dragon. Or a nymph. I have both in me.

Are you there? If you are real are you alright? I did not mean to lie to you. I did not know what I was. It was not my trick.

[Is that all she should say?] I am at the fountain. I will be here for - [Time, she had used it as a human. How do humans use time. Ugh, she couldn't quite remember.] -a couple hours? I will be here until the sun leaves the sky. [Better. That's all that needs to be said, right? Right.]

I-

[...]

I hope you were real.

[She quickly closes the book and waits for a response.]
songwithoutscales: (see through that / too clever)

[personal profile] songwithoutscales 2013-08-20 10:42 pm (UTC)(link)
[Kitten tilts her head thoughtfully before shaking it.] Other Immmortals, in a few cases, but no dragons. Centaurs have been known to breed with horses or humans, and my human adoptive mother is half-god.

None of our dragons can change forms, either, though! How do you do it? Is it just an inherent part of dragons in your world?
songwithoutscales: (angry / lecture)

[personal profile] songwithoutscales 2013-09-05 03:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I am having trouble figuring out which gestures are truly mine and which are not. My balance is wrong, and I am afraid to use most of my magic for fear of harming this body.

Even if you are finished changing back, what you say about the memories is true and makes it so hard to tell. Everything is jumbled. It will settle eventually, I hope. It has to. [She might keep Xzana as her aunt even after it does, though. Kitten has always had a cobbled together family, and she thinks they'd forgive her for adopting a new member without them here.]
songwithoutscales: (watching / contemplative)

[personal profile] songwithoutscales 2013-09-14 04:15 am (UTC)(link)
I do not even know if I will be human long enough to get used to it. At the same time, there are all these memories of being human, and the idea that I could be a dragon is so strange. I know I am a dragon, but none of it feels right.

[She tilts her head in consideration of that advice.] I think light and unlocking spells are safe enough, but anything stronger is too dangerous.
songwithoutscales: (see through that / too clever)

[personal profile] songwithoutscales 2013-09-17 07:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[She leans into the hand on her head, even as it sparks the unsettling realization that she has hair now. She isn't supposed to have hair to run anything through, be it claws or fingers.] I suppose you're right. No human has ever had dragon magic before, so I do not know what the effect will be on a mortal body.

[She hesitates for only a second before adding...] You still feel like family, even if I do not feel as if I know what I am.
songwithoutscales: (sulking)

[personal profile] songwithoutscales 2013-09-19 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
I do not live among dragons at home. Mama was pulled to the Mortal Realm before she had me, and she was killed there. She left my name to my human adoptive mother before she died, though. When I met my grandparents, they allowed me to stay with Mama Daine. We just visit each other. Many of the other dragons did not approve, but it was what I chose.

[Kitten nods, but her voice falters a little as she realizes something.] I will not be able to talk to you anymore once I am myself again. You can't understand me.
songwithoutscales: (watching / contemplative)

[personal profile] songwithoutscales 2013-09-27 01:22 am (UTC)(link)
[Shaking her head] Mama isn't like that. She has wild magic. She cannot understand my words, but she talks to animals and has never expected any of them to be different than they are by nature. She would expect nothing else of me, either.

[Kitten knows better than anyone that it's possible to be family without exchanging a single word, but usually at least her fellow dragons can understand her. She wants her own form back, of course, but she's spent her entire life longing for the ability to be understood. Having it only for it to be snatched away again is cruel.]

We will. [Resigned but determined.]
songwithoutscales: (see through that / too clever)

[personal profile] songwithoutscales 2013-09-28 03:13 am (UTC)(link)
[Again, Kitten stretches up slightly, leaning closer to Xzana's hands. The sensation is unfamiliar, both from her own skin rather than scales and Xzana's claws rather than the human fingers of her mortal family. It's nice, though, and her stomach sinks slightly as she tries to reconcile three worlds instead of the two she's balanced well enough so far since arriving in Luceti.]

Maybe. If not, you will hardly be the first member of my family unable to understand my words. Mama and Papa understand me well enough by now that I scarcely notice I cannot speak to them.
songwithoutscales: (see through that / too clever)

[personal profile] songwithoutscales 2013-10-07 05:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you. [There isn't much else she can say to that, so Kitten falls silent, leaning against Xzana quietly for a moment before she speaks again.]

Where do you live here, if I come looking for you? I am in House 44, the stone castle, but I can come to visit.
songwithoutscales: (surprised / interested)

[personal profile] songwithoutscales 2013-10-09 04:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Really? In the lake, not near it? Dragons have no such affinity for water in my world.

I cannot even swim. Derek was trying to teach me, but I have yet to learn.